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My Brother from Another Mother

#1 User is offline   Lady Moira Icon

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Posted 26 November 2017 - 08:03 AM

I met him over 10 years ago. My -then boss- wanted to hire a programmer and this guy was looking for more clients. we was just married to a mexican girl and had a small baby... So I organized an interview and he was hired.

We spent many nights working together (remotely tho) getting a new company on its feet. We got nicknames. He was "nit" and I was "kow" because at some point at night we could barely see what it was that we were typing. so Not turned to nit and know turned to kow.

Those where good days.

Then my boss decided to sell the company. AKA "merge" and we stopped working together. He was offered a partnership and since what I do is management, I am "not needed" I was given a "mercy" position for a while. It hurt and I do feel some sort of resentment on that as I was never offered even a contract. anyway.... Too late he realized that it was a big mistake, but the damage was done and he was attacked from within the company.

My boss turned into a friend I protected inside that company. My programming friend also became someone I would protect. Our friendship grew and we shared many things... personal things and professional ones. I learned that his wife was batshit crazy.... For a while she would just take a walk, whether it was the middle of the night or pouring rain, she would walk out of their home and go ---away--- leaving the newborn child alone.

One time, she want to her crazy walk and when people stopped her she would tell them that my friend had beaten her and that he was threatening her life. I do not blame her for being crazy, that kind of craziness comes from the cradle or from the brain. In her case, I think a bit of both. Her mother more than once, attacked my friend slapping him, claiming he wanted to steal his wife's money. I want to say that HE made a 5 figure income a year just on the salary of the company, plus his own business. so he did not need anyone's money.

Yesterday it was a week since she killed him and the reason i am writing this.

On monday he started to feel pain. I chatted with him on tuesday, when he told me about monday and that he had gone to the hospital to get checked. There, the doctor told him that he wanted an ultrasound to rule out apendicitis as a potential problem due to the strength and location of the pain.

currently, I have been let go from the company. My friend former boss and my bother from another mother talked about me and decided to protect me. so I was given a few clients to start a new office.- But as with any other new businesses, I need to grow it, so I am busy with that. On top of it I decided to learn japanese and next weekend I have an important exam, so I heard his news of the ultrasound, told him to be careful and forgot about it.

It seemed routine and normal.

I saw him online as hangouts lets you know when someone has been online or not. On Thursday around 3 pm, I saw him offline but since he's working out of his home, as he loved to do, I did not think much of it. We who work out of home, usually log out to tend to our offline lives.

I remember I went to class on Friday morning and as I walked out of class I was contacted by former-boss and he asked me to reach out to my brother and his wife... as she said to him on a chat: "You are the only contact of work I have of his in my phone. I do not know how to tell you this. I did everything I could to help him." Then silence.

I remembered that he had been going to the hospital for checkups and pre-surgical stuff from the ultrasound conversation. so I told him this and then I started to call the hospital main building and all their branches. He wasn't there either as a patient or a corpse. so I was hopeful.

Two hours later, she replied to the constant and urgent calls from former-boss and said: "GP died this morning"

My world came to a halt and a skip

He was fine, he was taking care of things, he was under physician supervision... what on earth happened????

Then she said: "he died of a mesenteric trombosis. he started to feel sick on thursday so we spent all afternoon going back and forth from the house to the doctor. Late last night he started vomiting blood and breathed his last breath in my arms"

I was: WHAT THE ######?=!?!?!

I have learned this week that Mesenteric Trombosis happens and when it does, it HAS to be caught early otherwise it IS a death sentence. Former-boss was so mad, he said that if GP had been living in the USA he could have been saved. I learned that Mesenteric Trombosis is hard to notice because it is, as any other trombosis problem, quite silent.

So no, I do not think for a moment that USa doctor are anywhere more magical than doctors anywhere in the world.

BUT

B.U.T.

If he had already been feeling sick since monday, why on earth was she going back and forth from the house to the doctor???
Why did she NOT take him to the hospital where he was going so that his medical record can be used to save his life?
She said that "they" decided to go somewhere else. I KNOW that he would not change his mind like that. UNless, the tending doctor was unavailable, which I do not think so.
I believe that she took him a doctor's office instead of a hospital. I can understand a first time going to the doctor's office. Him in pain and then pain subsiding and then the doctor saying: "Ok, it seems to have passed. Let's continue treatment. CAll me or come if anything else happens". which is a fair standard in medical lingo.

BUT

If MY husband, the man I love dearest, is in pain a second time I AM NOT TAKING HIM TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE. I am taking him to a hospital... IF NOT the one he wanted, ANY hospital will do.

He bled to death... He breathed his last breath in her arms.... WTF? where were they? Why is no doctor there? Where is the crash cart, CPR? An ambulance? They were NOT in the far away place, they were living in a heavily populated area with a hospital within 10 minutes ride!

If you start to vomit blood, yes, it will take you somewhere between 4-6 minutes to bleed out.

In the aftermath she said: "I never saw him ill, I did not know he was in pain. I can't process it. my children are the reason I am still breathing"

Now, please tell me I am crazy and she did not kill him.

I can't say that she did so willingly or that she intended this to happen. but I can say that to me, IMHO she's the dumbest broad I know. and her ignorance and lack of interest killed him

I can't press charges or ask for anything legal, she had him cremated the next day. More over, I am just a friend.

My first thought was: I am going to talk about this to GP.... he'll say Im paranoid.... as I continue to work I realize I can't talk to him in the same anymore. I try to use my clairse sense, and more often than not I dismiss it thinking that it is my own sadness.

I am still pretty mad at her. and I can't say I care about the children.

But I do miss my brother....
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#2 User is offline   Posibilities Icon

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Posted 04 December 2017 - 06:49 PM

I read both your posts and just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss. I can see it is profound and affects you deeply. Hugs :love:
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#3 User is offline   Lady Moira Icon

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Posted 23 December 2017 - 03:53 PM

View PostPosibilities, on 04 December 2017 - 06:49 PM, said:

I read both your posts and just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss. I can see it is profound and affects you deeply. Hugs :love:




Hi There

Thank you so very much. Yes, it shook me to my core.
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