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what do you think

#1 User is offline   nigel Icon

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:53 AM

I was wondering what your thoughts are on people who sacrifice a chance at friendships,relationships,children,travel,employment for someone they love or care about,do those people get rewarded for their sacrifice in the long term
the sun keeps me warm during the day,thinking of you makes me feel warm all night,you pick me up when I am down,you turn my frown upside down, I cant wait to meet you and fall in love with you sometime soon
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#2 User is offline   Village Witch Icon

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 04:07 AM

View Postnigel, on 20 January 2013 - 03:53 AM, said:

I was wondering what your thoughts are on people who sacrifice a chance at friendships,relationships,children,travel,employment for someone they love or care about,do those people get rewarded for their sacrifice in the long term


In my opinion, self-sacrifice is all about self and not the person on the receiving end of our supposed sacrifice. What do we hope to gain? Some folks get wrapped up in martyrdom while others do what they do out a sense of loyalty and/or not having the choice of being able to walk away, such as in taking care of elderly parents or a dying or handicapped spouse or child. They feel trapped and at times end up bitter and angry and dying inside.

And who or what bestows the so-called reward? Some religious beliefs claim to reward martyrdom. Some believe we gain karma points or some such thing.

As an Atheist, I believe we make choices in life and live with the consequences of how we feel about the choices we have made in this life.
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Posted 20 January 2013 - 04:38 AM

I'm trying to figure out if you're talking about altruism or you mean just sacrificing another situation to get what one wants.

Like, sacrificing having children to take care of a person you love?

Or sacrificing having children to be with the person you're in love with?

And by long term do you mean during life or after? I have no definite opinion about if we are rewarded or what not in after life or in the next life and the like. So I am sticking to this lifetime.

I suppose the first is a form of altruism. My opinion on this is torn. They deserve some reward to their dedication to this loved one, but I don't think it's really more than just the reward of feeling like they have taken good care of who they love. But no, I don't really think they are rewarded. If you're taking on the job of nurse or whatnot because they need medical care and you want to be there for them, it's admirable. But one is still sacrificing progress everywhere else in your life if he/she is not taking steps to accomplish what they want. Unfortunately, I don't believe that the things one desires will be rewarded to them when they make no effort toward them. Even if they are making an effort toward other things.

The latter is just decision making. Being with the person you love and sacrificing other things is a decision.

Getting a tangible reward (job, children, friendship) does not happen if you make no effort toward that. In my opinion anyhow.
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#4 User is offline   Village Witch Icon

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 07:53 AM

Opps. :rolleyes:
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#5 User is offline   philosophersgate Icon

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:22 AM

View PostChamuel, on 20 January 2013 - 10:56 PM, said:

Today I am wondering.

If you hurt someone without meaning too, does that make you bad?


Intent is 9/10th of the law, but unconscious action has consequences.
...evil cannot be conquered in the world. It can only be resisted within oneself. Master Po
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#6 User is offline   nigel Icon

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 03:33 AM

I have sacrificed all these things for my dad as he battles cancer and other complications,when I say in the long term I mean after the person gets better or they pass away from whatever condition they have
the sun keeps me warm during the day,thinking of you makes me feel warm all night,you pick me up when I am down,you turn my frown upside down, I cant wait to meet you and fall in love with you sometime soon
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#7 User is offline   Village Witch Icon

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 04:08 AM

View PostChamuel, on 21 January 2013 - 03:53 AM, said:

I think you have to find the balance Nigel, help your dad, yes but live your own life tooPosted Image

And yes, your rewards will comePosted Image


From who or what will his rewards come? Please don't think me callous. I am simply trying to understand what others belief. I am very much the pragmatist.

In my opinion, everything we do or get/obtain in this life is due to choices we make and the attitudes we hold about those choices.

I am not condemning anyone for spending their life dedicated to taking care of another who is in need, but spending time thinking and torturing oneself about what one has to loose or give up in doing so only adds to one's misery. Like attracts like. So I can understand why the concept of reward in the next life or afterlife is so appealing.
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#8 User is offline   light. Icon

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Posted 26 January 2013 - 03:20 AM

View PostVillage Witch, on 20 January 2013 - 04:07 AM, said:

In my opinion, self-sacrifice is all about self and not the person on the receiving end of our supposed sacrifice. What do we hope to gain? Some folks get wrapped up in martyrdom while others do what they do out a sense of loyalty and/or not having the choice of being able to walk away, such as in taking care of elderly parents or a dying or handicapped spouse or child. They feel trapped and at times end up bitter and angry and dying inside.

And who or what bestows the so-called reward? Some religious beliefs claim to reward martyrdom. Some believe we gain karma points or some such thing.

As an Atheist, I believe we make choices in life and live with the consequences of how we feel about the choices we have made in this life.


ohhhh wow .... you are soooo





Right ...



Every one iz very greedy but wont admit to it ...


Many people cannot say no because itz not right in some standard created by some human for every one to "attain the standard" that haz been placated...



I am glad I studied "some" Buddhist theosophy...






May the divine bless us all...
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Posted 26 January 2013 - 03:26 AM

View PostChamuel, on 20 January 2013 - 10:56 PM, said:

Today I am wondering.

If you hurt someone without meaning too, does that make you bad?



No not at all you cannot live in the mind and each mind iz a complicated organizm ... therefore you never know what they are thinking ... or if they are





Manipulating You





A lot of emotionz we cannot afford on thiz planet due to manipulation of decent people ...

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#10 User is offline   Eye Crystals Icon

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:44 AM

View PostChamuel, on 20 January 2013 - 10:56 PM, said:

Today I am wondering.

If you hurt someone without meaning too, does that make you bad?


It could be bad for the person if you were consciously making the decision to do something and you knew that they would be hurt by the outcome/decision you make.

When you make a decision holding the knowledge that it will cause someone pain then yes you might possibly be 'bad', but I feel like you cannot go through life basing all your choices on how they will affect others. It is you that is living your life, other people aren't living it for you. You risk missing out on some terrific opportunities for personal development and growth if you choose to do so (thereby hurting yourself in a way!).

It really depends on the severity of the situation though. For instance, if you choose to say no to going on a date with a guy who really liked you then of course he's going to be hurt but in the end he'll probably be hurt anyway if you lead him on :P but then if you have to choose between jobs or a career path - possibly choosing one that someone in your life doesn't want you to take for whatever reasons - they may not approve but it will be a good experience for you personally.

Without the intention of hurting someone, I don't think it makes you bad. You'll have your own personal reasons for deciding the things that you do and if others are hurt by it then maybe it is them that has the issue?
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#11 User is offline   Lila Icon

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:20 PM

View PostChamuel, on 21 January 2013 - 03:53 AM, said:

I think you have to find the balance Nigel, help your dad, yes but live your own life tooPosted Image

And yes, your rewards will comePosted Image

Can we be sure about that? What if...
There is a bigger picture and we are currently just pawns helping someone else. Have you ever thought to yourself "I am really glad you came into my life when you did." We could innocently touch someone else in a deep way and not even be aware of it. Isn't it about being the best 'you' you can be.
It won't be long before I become a caretaker myself. I can't allow myself the luxury of negative feelings. Along the way I may be the encounter someone else needed. :wub:
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#12 User is offline   Lilly Icon

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:28 AM

Nigel,your father does need you and he appreciates everything you do for him. However,every parent/grandparent I have ever spoken to doesn't want to be a burden on their children. When I say burden,I mean they do not want their children to have to put everything on hold to care for them. I have spent my entire life around elderly people,I know and understand them,they were and are my friends.
Nigel,your father would want you to be happy. So,take care of him but,don't give up opportunities that would make your life better. Find balance,a middle ground.
As far as rewards,I don't know...Karma is tricky. I guess,in the end the only sure reward is that you get to spend time with your Dad and make him as comfortable and happy as you can.
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#13 User is offline   Nana1987 Icon

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Posted 26 March 2013 - 07:42 AM

View Postnigel, on 20 January 2013 - 03:53 AM, said:

I was wondering what your thoughts are on people who sacrifice a chance at friendships,relationships,children,travel,employment for someone they love or care about,do those people get rewarded for their sacrifice in the long term


Nigel, I feel like your question is too broad, like I don't understand how would you sacrifice all those things for someone you love or care?

Without more specific examples I can only give you a broad answer based on my own experience. I have "sacrificed" myself for people I love/care for. But in reality, it is not a sacrifice, because we are all responsible for our own lives. I feel sometimes we want to believe we are sacrificing ourselves for others, to make ourselves feel like we are better people, or closer to God, or like we will receive some reward. But I don't think that is real. I don't think you ever sacrifice yourself for anyone, because no one is forcing you to do anything. If you decide to put away your friends, relationships, children, travel, and employment, for a particular person it is only your choice, and you want it that way. You could put it in other words, what if you sacrifice (or give up) someone you love/care about so that you can care for your friends, relationships, children, yourself (by traveling), and be of service to others (through employment)? Would you get a reward then? If you are touching more people's lives, wouldn't your sacrifice give you more rewards?

To me, unless God commands me to do something I don't want to do, I don't feel I'm actually making a sacrifice... simply, I'm making a choice.

What do you think? Am I understanding your question?
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#14 User is offline   nigel Icon

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Posted 27 March 2013 - 08:26 PM

I guess the good thing out of this is that I have become a better person and have got to spend some quality time with my dad
the sun keeps me warm during the day,thinking of you makes me feel warm all night,you pick me up when I am down,you turn my frown upside down, I cant wait to meet you and fall in love with you sometime soon
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#15 User is offline   Moopurple Icon

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 04:28 AM

It's good to see something positive in it. But it's never too late to focus on some of your own needs as well. :)
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Posted 28 March 2014 - 04:03 PM

I think that if you believe in the Lord God, you will be rewarded.
but only if what you love is not evil.
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